English Speaking Counsellor in Berlin

Therapy Vs Coaching

Sat, 25 Sep 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Before we delve into the differences between these two practices, let us examine the commonalities:

In today’s world, supporting your Mental Health has become an absolute prerequisite to live a fully functional life. The upside of this is that Mental health care is becoming more accessible and less controversial. Coming from a country where access to Therapy was once a luxury as well as highly stigmatised, I find myself particularly elated with this progress.

Coaching is a fairly new concept that is is getting a lot of popularity. It is somewhere on the spectrum of Mental Health support, but not entirely. Psychotherapy, as we already know is widely practiced through various approaches depending upon the practitioners own personality, style and training background. But the one common goal that unites all these approaches is that they all aim to help the client. Coaching is not very different on that account.

Just like in therapy, the basic fundamental principal of coaching is to maintain a coaching relationship based on openness and trust. And like in psychotherapy, coaching strives to empower the client with tools to manage their situation. Both approach the client with an unconditional positive regard and respect.

But there are a few areas that coaching must tread carefully around. These involve dealing with clients with traumas, mental illnesses, depression or severe emotional distress and psychotherapy would be the way to go in these cases.

The biggest advantage to Coaching is that it is not limited for people with distress alone. It can be for people who think they are doing well, but wish to thrive. And it is also for people who are thriving and want to keep getting better and better. In my opinion, if we were to speak of the mind in terms of our physical health:

Therapy is like getting healthy while Coaching is making a healthy body thrive. Both are essential and both are necessary.

Story time - Fear of Judgement

Thu, 12 Oct 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Storytelling in my opinion one of the best ways to engage with people. Some extremely complex topics can be easily communicated through the simplest of narratives. My Story time articles explore such topics through some of my favorite stories and fables.

The Madman

You ask me how I became a madman. It happened thus: One day, long before many gods were born, I woke from a deep sleep and found all my masks were stolen – the seven masks I have fashioned and worn in seven lives. I ran mask-less through the crowded streets shouting, “Thieves, thieves, the cursed thieves.” Men and women laughed at me and some ran to their houses in fear of me.

And when I reached the market place, a youth standing on a house-top cried, “He is a madman.” I looked up to behold him; the sun kissed my own naked face for the first time. For the first time the sun kissed my own naked face and my soul was inflamed with love for the sun, and I wanted my masks no more. And as if in a trance I cried, “Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks.”

Thus I became a madman.

And I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.

- Kahlil Gibran

There may be many interpretations to this story, but here is how I understand it. In order to be accepted in society, we have to wear many masks. Masks that make us a more acceptable versions of ourselves. “Losing the mask” symbolizes breaking free of the shackles of society and finding freedom. These individuals who refuse to “wear a mask” and conform to the set norms, often find themselves isolated.

Often we are afraid to be ourselves out of fear of being judged, ridiculed and isolated by others. It is impossible to fully function if we are forced to suppress our true selves. The first step to overcome this problem is to be comfortable with our own selves and face the consequences of being “mask-less”.

Self-acceptance is something that has to be nurtured. Thankfully, it is a skill that can be practiced and developed over time. As humans we tend to focus on our weaknesses. We need to celebrate our strengths and silence our inner critic that holds us back and wears us down. A balanced attitude toward self nurturing reduces the probability of depression, anxiety, and unhappy interpersonal relationships.

A good sense of self-worth enhances feelings of empowerment and confidence.

Online counselling - Flexible, Convenient and Affordable

Tue, 12 Sep 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Today the world of therapy and counselling is catching up with the age of mobility. I can say that with conviction since I have been getting more and more requests for online counselling sessions. Of course there have been a number of questions raised about how effective online therapy can be. I was myself a skeptic once. But over time, I am beginning to believe that offering counselling online is proving to be one of the most convenient ways to connect with my clients. I have listed some of the advantages that I have observed from my experience below:

Comfort:
During the standard & traditional face-to-face sessions, we counsellors do our best to make our clients as comfortable as possible. This helps the client to relax and open up. Especially clients who suffer from social phobias, agoraphobia or anxiety disorders. What could be more comfortable than the cozy space of your own home?

Flexibility:
Many-a-times, online therapy can have more flexible working hours, For those clients that work full-time and find it hard to make time for their therapy sessions, online therapy can prove very suitable.

Convenience:
Finding the right therapist can become quite a challenge, especially for expats living in non-english speaking countries. The options are often limited and the travel time to reach your counsellor can be long. I have a couple of clients that have to travel for over an hour to reach me. These barriers can be easily overcome with online counselling saving them both time and energy.

Affordability:
Offering online counselling is economical for the therapist since they don’t necessarily have to practice in a commercial space thereby reducing any overhead costs that come along. This automatically makes their charges affordable for the client.

Accessibility & Outreach:
Web counselling is easily accessible to anyone who wants to use it. Sometimes, I work with clients who live in small towns or areas that don’t have easy access to mental health professionals. Even those that are differently abled or unable to leave their home can also easily access such services very conveniently.

Of course, online counselling also has its drawbacks. It’s a lot easier to connect with someone face-to-face and the online experience differs from person to person. The session also relies heavily on a good internet connection and not having one results in a disruptive experience. However, the sheer convenience of online counselling results in clients missing fewer sessions and the therapy being more effective. In my personal experience over the last few months, it has certainly worked towards bringing mental health services to your doorstep.

Overthinking can cloud your wellbeing

Sat, 12 Aug 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Did you know that our brain can easily fall prey to the pattern of Overthinking?

Thoughts are like clouds, floating in and out of the vastness of our mind. A simple passing thought can trigger our mind to start spinning multiple negative thoughts and emotions that eventually take complete control over our life.

Over thinking not only affects our mental wellbeing & social life, but also adversely affects our physical health by causing problems like insomnia, fatigue and unhealthy eating habits!

Most of the times, we end up ignoring these thoughts and shutting them up into a corner of our minds. This is not the best way to deal with them. It is like shoving dirt under a carpet and assuming that the room is clean.

Acknowledging and addressing them is extremely essential. Talking about them freely with somebody who will listen without any judgement is help a great deal. Mindfully observing these thoughts as they float through our mind is another way to deal with these disturbing thoughts. Observe them, become aware of them, but try not be bothered by them.

Cognitive behavioural therapy has proved successful over the years in helping individuals control their intrusive thoughts. An easy technique to break the negative pattern of thought is by distracting the mind with a positive thought or activity.

Story time - Self-worth

Sat, 15 Jul 2017 00:00:00 +0000

The Duck and the Moon

A duck was swimming in the river looking for fish. The whole day passed, but she didn’t find any fish. When night came she saw the moon reflected on the water. She thought it was a fish and she dove down to catch it. The other ducks saw her, and they all made fun of her. The duck felt ashamed and timid. Later even when she saw a fish under water she did not try to catch it. After many weeks, she died of hunger.

- Leo Tolstoy

This is undoubtedly one of my favorite Leo Tolstoy stories. Such a simple tale but very poignant!

As a counsellor, I have often referred to it during my sessions to try to explain the impact of how much the opinions of others can affect our self-worth. If these opinions are negative we end up feeling devalued and worthless. When we seek our approval from outside it can leave us in a place of extreme tentativeness and dependence. A surprising number of people suffer from self-doubt and that comes in the way of living up to one’s fullest potential.

The first step towards achieving a positive self-worth is through developing self-compassion: treating yourself with kindness and love. Counselling can help you gain a strong sense of self by working on becoming more assertive, confident and self-aware.

With a healthy self-esteem, you can thrive and build a healthy relationship with yourself and in turn, with those around you.

Counselling vs. Advice

Sat, 01 Jul 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Counselling is not Advising and giving Advice is not Counselling!

During the initial years in my practice I often found myself struggling with the temptation to offer my clients with advice. I must confess, it wasn’t always easy to stop myself. Especially when I thought the client wasn’t going in the direction I was hoping they would.

Metaphorically speaking, if the therapeutic process is a moving car, I would be on the driver’s seat while the client on the passenger’s seat. Making sure that the car moves ahead and does not go off the road would be my job but it would be the client who will guide the car to its final destination.

Advising and counselling are two very different things. Giving advice is letting people know what you think is best for them, while counselling is allowing people to explore and decide what is best for them.

When in distress we often find ourselves surrounded by those who care for us. We cannot help but unwittingly ask them to help us resolve our issues or provide us with solutions. One of the main reasons for us to ask others for advice is because as human beings we rely heavily on other people’s opinions and we trust ourselves very little. People get caught in the cycle of asking for advice and depending on others, and when things fail, escaping the responsibility. Counselling is an opportunity for you to re-establish that trust in yourself and follow your own path forward.

Why I provide a free 20 minute consultation

Sat, 24 Jun 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Counselling as a process can be rather intense, and starting it can be very daunting. You might have many questions and doubts about how to begin and whether counselling is the right way forward for you.

During the 20 minute consultation you can ask me any such questions you might have. We can talk about what your current struggles and challenges are, what you are looking for through counselling and how I can be of help during this process. This consultation will also allow you to get a better understanding of who I am and we can explore how we will work together. We can determine the approach that might best suit you.

Along with being in tune with your counsellor, it is crucial that you find yourself in a safe, non-judgemental and a comfortable environment. It becomes difficult to determine all this online or over the phone. Therefore a face-to-face meeting is absolutely necessary and can provide you with the opportunity to make an informed choice, without the expense.

A good therapeutic relationship between your counsellor and you is the key factor for this process to head in a positive direction. This consultation will help you decide if I am the right counsellor for you.

Lastly, I would also like to meet with you in order to establish a rapport prior to beginning counseling you.

My ultimate aim is to make sure that our sessions together are as valuable to you as possible.